Showing posts from December, 2022

Blood Was Spilled (A No-Longer-Canonical Fantasy Heroine Snippet)

Takes place both some months after and  many years before the events of the series/book. ‘I have a question.’  Charlotte completed her practice strike (Leo rated it a 6 out of 10, the angle was a bit off, but a solid start for a new technique) and looked up at him. ‘Mmm?’ ‘Why do the caladrius like you so much?’ Charlotte grinned, and swung at him again (better, solidly 7 out of 10). ‘At least four reasons. They prefer women, possibly because they prefer shorter people in general, they don’t like sudden movement, they like quiet people but not silence, and I smell like lavender.’ ‘Lavender?’ Rosamund always smelled of it too, now that he thought of it. The oil she put in her hair was perfumed with lavender, there were bags of lavender in all the dressers and closets...he probably smelled of lavender himself at this point, given how ubiquitous its use was in the house. ‘They build lavender into their nests. They’re also absolutely obsessive about lavender cheese.’ He held up his sword b

Legal Reasons (Fantasy Heroine Snippets)

  (Takes place between S4 E3 and S4 E4) Leo poured himself wine as Robin tucked into his food, and for the next few minutes the silence in the Rose Room stretched out comfortably. While he took the worst of the edge off his hunger, Robin pondered his previous conversation with Leo. Specifically, the significance of the sentence, ‘I’ll go and talk to her Ladyship .’ That overzealous formality wasn’t for his benefit, Robin was sure. And the fact that Leo was being even more formal than usual... didn’t bode well for the state of marital relations. Still, Robin Waverley prided himself on impeccable comic timing. Which was why he waited until Leo had taken a large mouthful of wine before asking, ‘So, has Rosy deflowered you yet? So to speak?’  The wine went everywhere . Robin, satisfied that he hadn’t lost his touch, waited patiently while his friend finished aspirating his drink, and even mopped up some of the spillage with his napkin. Just to be helpful. Eventually Leo, trying very hard

Patching Up Your Hot...Wife (Fantasy Heroine Snippets)

Happy New Year! Well. Nearly.  In June of 2022 I had a silly idea for a sketch about a writer and her recalcitrant Fantasy Heroine, and as of the 31st December 2022 I have not only 42 minutes of video on the subject, but also 51,000 words of a novel draft. And also some other stuff that isn't actually going to be included in the book at all, aha. Ha. Ha. So for your general joy (Patrons and channel members will have seen some of these before in their earlier forms) I present: some excerpts from the draft as it currently exists, and a short story that takes place before and after the events of the series/novel. Yes, both, it'll make sense in a moment. Rosamund insisted on walking (very slowly) down the stairs, past the members of both the Queen’s Guard and the Hawkhurst guard who were now patrolling the halls of her home, but as soon as they got to the kitchen she slumped onto a chair, whimpering. ‘Should I fetch the physician?’ She shook her head. ‘She was elderly when I first