Discworld: Where Should I Start?

The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.
It's amazing and brilliant and I love it and GNU Sir Terry.
But if you're new to this world (WELCOME) you might be a bit...overwhelmed by your options. Do you go in chronological order? Where do you start? WHAT DO YOU DO???
Let me help, friend. Together we will discover your perfect reading order for the Discworld books.

Chronological order of the Discworld series is fine, and here's a link to the Discworld novels publication order if that's your thing, but if you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, let's try it differently.

Generic TL;DR recommendation: start with either Wyrd Sisters (witches and Shakespeare!) or Guards! Guards! (detectoring!) because they give you a good intro to the kind of plots and humour you can expect from Pratchett. If you like them, great! If not...maybe the series won't be your thing.

But if you’d like a more customised selection, walk this way…
YOU LIKE: Mysteries, hardbitten detective types, and the mean city streets…
TRY THIS: The Guards books. Night Watch is probably my favourite, but Guards, Guards! is the place to start. Official reading order here
YOU LIKE: Ladies kicking ass and meddling in narrative causality (no you shan’t go to the ball, I don’t care what the story says!)
TRY THIS: The Witches books. Equal Rites is the first one, but for a proper introduction to the main trio, I recommend starting with Wyrd Sisters. My favourite witches books are Maskerade, which is totally not Phantom of the Opera, honest, and Carpe Jugulum, which is about vampires. And also faith, and I love it SO MUCH. This series also contains the young adult Tiffany Aching books. Witches books reading order here.
Speaking of…
YOU LIKE: Young adult fiction with kickass teen girl protagonist and tiny angry blue Scottish fairies…
TRY THIS: Tiffany Aching. Start with The Wee Free Men
YOU LIKE: Wizards, tourist jokes and a lot of Doctor Who Running About…
TRY THIS: Rincewind. Poor old Rincewind. I’m not particularly wild about the Rincewind books, (full reading order here) but I do like Unseen Academicals, which is all about football. And humanity. Note that Rincewind doesn’t really feature heavily in it.
YOU LIKE: CAPITAL LETTERS, musings on human nature and quasi-magical girls who are terribly, terribly sensible…
TRY THIS: The Death books (reading order)Mort will introduce you to Death and his habit of adopting humans, but I personally prefer the ones with Susan in them. Soul Music and Hogfather are both fine, but Thief of Time is a personal favourite. Mmm. Chocolate and musings on how we become human.
YOU LIKE: Former conman tries to make good on pain of death (again)…
TRY THIS: Moist von Lipwig, no really that’s his real name, who gets a second chance at life courtesy of Vetinari. Going Postal is the first Moist book and it’s great. Moist is probably the least violent person on the Disc and I can’t help but like him. That said I also like it when his criminal ways come back to bite him. I’m mean like that.
I love The Truthin which newspapers are invented, and Monstrous Regiment, in which Polly Perks pulls a Sweet Polly Oliver and goes to war. Kinda.
Or you could just go in publication order. Whatever seems good to you.
If you pick up a Discworld book, let me know what you think! Or if you have an alternative First Discworld Novel, you should leave a comment and tell us why!
Oh, and I've done a few video reviews of Discworld stuff, so here's one on The Truth:

And a Patron-requested review on the Wyrd Sisters animated adaptation:

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